There's a long way still to go in this year's Race Across The World. This is only episode three. But observing this latest lot, racing from Sicily to Mongolia, I've already worked out what my own strategy will be when I compete in the race myself in 2027, along with my wife or my daughter, or maybe our dog.

(That's assuming the producers don't reject my application, of course. But I can't see that happening. Especially not if I offer them option three.) You see, a crucial factor each year, on the third leg, is that whoever's last to the checkpoint - in this case, in the town of Halfeti in south-east Turkey - must leave the competition at once.

Well, I say "at once". If two teams arrive together and it goes to VAR, they'll obviously have to hang around a few more months. But ultimately, yes, one pair will be going home. Which, in this current contest, looks as if it could be anyone other than leaders Katie and Harrison. Still 14 hours ahead tonight, the siblings have so much time to spare that when Katie pleads that they hang around to witness the world-famous spectacle of hundreds of hot-air balloons rising at dawn over Cappadocia, Harrison finds himself agreeing.

However, what I plan to do myself next year, soon after setting off - probably on day two, if we're somewhere nice - is break a toe. One of my own, I mean. Not one of the important ones, the fracturing of which would force me to pull straight out of the race; just one of those toes that don't really do much, but which will still slow me down once I've damaged it, meaning mine is sure to be the team sent home in week three.

With the burden of expectation thus lifted from our shoulders, we can then just dial it down for the rest of our time: relax, enjoy a daily lie-in, get some sun. We'll still have most of our budget left, but we won't be expected to blow it on taxis, trains, horrid buses etc. What would be the point?

Obviously do let me know if you think this plan is flawed in any way, or possibly not in keeping with the spirit of the race. But I'm pretty sure you'll agree it's a fine idea. In fact, maybe it's you who should be my teammate. Fancy it? Fair enough. Don't say I didn't offer.

The Apprentice, BBC1, 9pm

So it's another all-female final, Dan having fallen at the last. "I don't understand your business at all," Lord Sugar declared, before showing him the door. "Really? Well, stuff it then, Al, I didn't want to win you stupid competition in any case," Dan surprisingly chose not to yell as he left. For tonight's decider, Karishma launches her beauty business, while rival Pascha gets her recruitment firm up and running. And who better to help them than a bunch of contestants sent home earlier in the series for not being good enough, back to show Lord Sugar how much talent he let slip through his hands?

Paul Merton: Driving Amazing Trains, C4, 8pm

Paul starts his latest journey on "one of the most luxurious trains in the world, with its panoramic carriages, incredible catering and breathtaking views". Yes, that's right, he's catching the Thameslink from Brighton to Luton Airport. But not really. That was just me being amusing. No, what he's experiencing is Switzerland's Glazier Express, getting on at St Moritz and eventually hopping off in the Alpine village of Andermatt. "Eventually", because the Glazier Express's average speed is 24mph.